Netweather Urban Dictionary

[memories of 63]

Shuggee,

Wonderful idea. I think this should be pinned so that all new members can scan it to find inspiration if they can't think of their own nickname.

[shuggee]

Jet Streak - running as fast as possible down the centre aisle of an Airbus A330, naked.

[Evo]

Difluent Troff - A big metal tray that all banned members of Net Weather are forced to eat from.

[pottyprof]

[snowhope]

Viking that was superb. I love toliet humour!

I actually had tears rolling down my eyes in the office.

I am forwarding it to all the girls I work with!

Great stuff mate. Made my week!

[SP1986]

Baroclinic Blow - A psychological condition, owing to the failure of a severe wind event.

Solar Boretex - The opposite of a Polar vortex, describing the 5 axes of pressure around the poles during high solar input

No s'warm - A cross between a non-snow storm and the attainment, and frequency surrounding long term mild conditions.

Spanish Fume - A description of the situation whereby a plume event 'goes up in smoke'

[pooksly]

Snow Hope - Term used to describe winters in the UK.

Snow Joke - Term used to describe winters in the UK.

Snow Chance - Term used to describe winters in the UK.

and so on and so forth

[Osbourne One-Nil]

Wibberish - nippy.

[shuggee]

Snort Wave - The unexpected formation of low pressure around Iceland which cuts off any hope of cold weather reaching the UK - you can almost hear the weather laughing at us.

[Tim B]

Snow Blower: A frontal system that moves through an area in the lunchtime to teatime hours following a nights snofall, usually from a pesterly latitude bringing damp miserable conditions which rapidly turns any lying snow to slush, causing absolute madness through the teatime rush hour period and blowing any further chance of snow for the foreseeable future.

Strike A Storm: A severe local storm or storms which cause Strike Alerts to go insane, but yield no visible lightning or audible thunder. This is because these storms are interacting with an inter spacial rift and your strike alert is picking up errant signals from the other side.

[Mondy]

NEWSFLASH

My sources are alerting me to a new scientific breakthrough...The Dawlish Effect.

As yet, no further info on this rare occurance..

[Evo]

Short Raves - infrequent and brief parties where groups of friends attempt to experience a Sibrerian High.

Shandi High - The state of enlightenment one achieves in the depths of winter when you realise you'd better start mixing lemonade in your beer if it's going to last all night.

Sub-topical Jet - An off topic rant, often in relation to the lack of snow in plus 30c, under clear skys in the middle of summer.

[Guest Viking141]

Viking that was superb. I love toliet humour!

I actually had tears rolling down my eyes in the office.

I am forwarding it to all the girls I work with!

Great stuff mate. Made my week!

TUVM snowhope, one does ones best!!

[Roger J Smith]

Coriolis farce -- The principle that all active weather systems turn to the right before reaching the U.K.

Wave train -- What suburban housewife does at 0800 before meeting boyfriend for lunch.

Triple point -- Often used ... in certain weather reports ... nuff said

Bareoclinic zone -- The part of London between Harley Street and the strip clubs

Greenland high -- The result of inadequate social policies combined with 21-hour nights

Ensemble -- A notable advance in forecasting whereby five or more wrong solutions can be compared for any time period

[Osbourne One-Nil]

Countryfile Forecast - weather predictions made by fans of Chris Evans.

[SP1986]

The four wind directions:

Smotherly - Smothers you with wind (obviously)

Feasterly - This describes where an easterly wind feeds on your hopes of a snowy scene

Norderly - In the rare situation this type of northerly occurs, you may find yourself wallowing in deep snow.

Guesterly - The primary direction for Atlantic storms, and ultimately baroclinic bombs. The idea behind the guesterly is that you're left wondering what will happen next...

[shuggee]

Gale Farce Winds - After much hype and ramping, a storm that never was and was never likely to produce a 'damaging' gust.

[Stratos Ferric]

Hurrican't (n) - An impending mother and father of all storms that fails to get its act together.

Mourning - The period after the night before when a much anticipated weather event fails to materialise. Often, though not exclusively, associated with green no.

Storm farce (adj) - a new point on the Beaufort scale indicating an expected wind event that didn't happen. E.g. Yesterday's predicted Hurricane developed overnight into the third such event of the season, Hurrican't Conor, and by this mourning winds were reaching storm farce 9 in the South-East.

[Evo]

SATSIGr - Sod all the science, it's going to rain. Directly attributed to New Zealand cricket umpire Billy Bowden who claimed, despite all indications to the contrary that as his arthritis was playing up, rain would come to save England the following day.

[SP1986]

A.R.S.E - Affirmative Realisation of Subsiding Easterly

[chilly milly]

The A.S.S. - The Anti Snow Society

[I can't believe it's not better]

Lathekil Dale - a place where they used to do a lot of turnery, before tragedy struck.

Cyclegenesis - Nottingham.

[RedShift]

Some celestial bodies…

Moan (n.) – Forget the Sun, or even the Un, as being the primary driver of our weather, the Moan decides our weather by sucking the heat (or was it the cold?) out of the clouds, just like a giant fan on an iceberg...or something. It is a law after all.

Not to be confused with the noise made by many members here when some of our more excitable Antipodean contributors post.

Murkury (n.) – A small grey planet that receives plenty of Unshine, but just on one side. Its magnetic field is in a transit van this winter…so expect plenty of no here in Britain.

Penus (n) – A larger orangey-red object in the sky…where women are from. Probably an example of the ‘Ran Away Greenhouse Affect’ (RAGA) – whereby the Greenhouse Affect, erm…..ran away. Quite why its surface temperatures are so high is hence a mistery.

Lars (n.) – A small red planet, named after a famous Swedish astronomer. Its atmosphere is ~95% carbon dioxide and yet is colder than the Earth. Firm evidence, according to some visionaries, that carbon dioxide is not a warming agent here on Earth. Its green canals are inhabited exclusively by men.

[shuggee]

Latent Hat - the effect of a layer of CO2 keeping a lid on energy in the system

Humility - the reserved acceptance that the UK's weather is now always sticky and mild

Hype-othermia - an over-rated and little seen effect of extreme cold

Gritted - the average state of a no ramper's teeth during extended periods of default SW'ly zonality.

[Stratos Ferric]

Januworry (n) - The first month of the year as viewed from Dec 30th or so, when all the forward charts are yellow and orange.

Febuworry (n) - The second month of the year as viewed from Jan 30th or so, when all the forward charts are yellow and orange.

Chrismiss (n) - (1) What happens when we get lots of no at Christmas; (2) A wayward forecast for a white christmas.